Entertaining
In this section you will learn about entertaining in the small
home. I'll dispel some myths, compare
two parties and give your party basics to
make you next get-together a success.
Parties and
The Smaller Home: Fiction vs. Fact
Entertaining is just as easy in a smaller home as in a large
house. Why? How guests feel about a party and whether they
enjoy themselves has nothing to do with the size of the house.
There are only two things needed for a great party: Invite people
into your home and make them feel welcome.
| Fiction |
Fact |
It is hard to
entertain in a small home. |
Great parties happen because
guests feel welcome and have fun. The size of the
house has nothing to with it. In fact, the more comfortable
proportions of the smaller home usually make for better
parties. |
To make great
food,
you need a big kitchen. |
Big kitchens don’t
guarantee great food anymore than the fastest computer
with the latest word processing program guarantees a
best selling novel. Great food comes out of both
large and small kitchens. But in my experience,
when guests see a large expensive kitchen, they expect
fabulous food, so the hostess is under pressure to deliver. Guests
expect much less from smaller kitchens. People
are always surprised when wonderful food comes out of
a tiny kitchen and the hostess is typically showered
with compliments. |
To entertain
well, you need a kitchen island. |
Picture the best parties
you have ever attended. Is there a kitchen island
in any of those memories? I’ll bet not. Unless
the purpose of the party is to unveil your new kitchen
island, you don’t need one to throw a party. |
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A Tale of Two Parties
A Party Gone Wrong
Years ago I went to a holiday reception at a large magnificent
town house on the Chicago Gold Coast. The flowers were
gorgeous the food delicious, and the perfect selection of music
was playing on the Bose stereo system. I had a terrible
time. Why? The focus of the party was the house
and its valuable contents. Nothing was done to make guests
feel welcome and comfortable. Shoes had to be removed
at the front door so the inlaid maple floors would not get
scuffed. Drinking and eating were not allowed in the
living room to prevent stains on the furniture and priceless
Persian carpets. Guests huddled together in the kitchen
trying to juggle both wine glasses and buffet plates; while
the hostess led others on the obligatory house tour. The
lyrics to Tracy Chapman’s brilliant song Mountains
O’things, could have been about the host and
hostess:
Everyone will look at me with envy and with
greed
I’ll revel in their attention
And mountains
Oh mountains o’things
The Little Party That Could
One of the most memorable parties I ever attended was a wedding
reception held in a small home. The flowers were simple,
the food was a selection of cheeses, crackers and fruit, and
a non-alcoholic punch was served to drink. For music,
a friend was recruited to play the piano. I had a wonderful
time. Why? The stars of the party were the bride and
groom and their guests. Everyone was made to feel welcome
and treated as an important part of the wedding celebration.
The party lasted until the early morning hours and included
a pizza delivery around 2:00 am paid for by the guests.
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Party Basics
So
how do you entertain successfully? For homes of any size,
but especially the smaller home, pay attention to party basics:
- The purpose of the party
- The guest list
- Food and drinks
- Entertainment/activities
- The staging/flow
The Purpose of the Party
When throwing a party, be clear about its purpose. This
gives the party structure and makes guests comfortable about
their role. Celebrations, holidays and social get-togethers are
all good reasons to throw a party.
| Types of Parties |
Purpose of
Party |
Celebrations |
These parties focus on a
happy event, accomplishment or milestone in someone’s
life. Reasons to throw a party and celebrate
include:
• Birthdays
• Graduations
• Engagements and Weddings
• Baby Showers
• Baptisms
• Anniversaries |
Holidays |
The holidays are always a
good reason to throw a party for family and friends. Typical
holiday parties include:
• Thanksgiving
• Christmas
• Hanukkah
• Easter
• July 4th
• St. Patrick’s Day
• New Year’s Eve |
Social Get-Togethers |
These parties are often the
most memorable. Why? Because the sole purpose
of the party is bringing people together to have fun
and enjoy each other’s company. What are
good reasons for a social gathering?
• Dinner Parties
• Wine Tastings
• Cocktail Parties
• Barbecues
• Academy Award Parties
• Games – Bridge, Poker, Board Games, Charades
• Movies or TV Shows |
The Guest List
Parties
held in a Jewel Box® Home, will naturally have a smaller guest
list than parties thrown in a larger house. But jewel box
parties have an advantage, their surroundings do not overshadow
the guests. This puts guests in their rightful place
as stars of the party. When creating the guest list,
be inclusive and invite people who might expect an invitation. It
is also important to create a positive group dynamic.
- How many to invite? Know the limits of your space. Decide
how many people you can comfortably invite. For smaller
homes, it is especially important to keep the party size
manageable. At cocktail parties I can entertain 24 to 30
guests, at dinner parties I plan to seat eight people total
or a very cozy ten.
- Who to invite? Invite people who are likely to
have fun together and enjoy each other’s company. This
will automatically happen if positive connections between
guests already exist or will naturally arise. Follow these
rules and you can’t go wrong.
| Rules For
Inviting Guests |
The Why |
Every guest
must know at least two other guests |
Most people find it very
hard to walk into a party when they don’t know
anyone else. Guests will feel welcome and comfortable
if they can immediately connect with at least two other
people. |
Don’t
invite enemies to the same party |
If you invite enemies to
a social gathering, instead of throwing a party, you
will be staging a fight. There is one exception
to this rule, the family party. In this case, enemies
automatically receive invitations as part of their
birthright or by marriage. |
Invite groups
of people that have something in common |
Common areas of interest
create a natural and comfortable way for guests to
mingle. Without this, the atmosphere will feel
forced and artificial as guests struggle to interact. |
Food (and Drink)
Great parties serve great food. Great food is within the
reach of any cook, host or hostess. All you need is a talent
for cooking or a talent for ordering from a good caterer.
- Great party food. To have great food at
a party, just follow a few simple rules:
| Rule |
Why? |
Choose simple
good quality food |
The most memorable and delicious
meals are composed of quality ingredients simply prepared
to highlight flavors. |
Serve food that
is familiar and comfortable for guests |
Familiar food puts guests
at ease and creates a relaxing comfortable atmosphere. Fancy
dishes can have the opposite effect. Complicated food,
especially if it requires a special fork or spoon, can
make guests nervous. At one of my dinner parties, I served
beautiful red individual lobsters with disastrous results. It
was hard to eat even with a lobster fork. Stick
with tried and true favorites and you can’t go
wrong. |
Serve at least
one unusual dish that guests will enjoy |
Serving an unusual dish will
spark conversation and give guests a chance to experience
food they might enjoy but rarely have a chance to taste. But,
stay away from the weird and strange. Fresh figs, bosc
pears with blue cheese, and prosciutto with melon are
all good choices. Calf brains and lamb’s
head are not. |
Food should be
easy to eat |
Don’t serve food that
is hard to eat. At a cocktail party, don’t
expect guests to balance a cocktail in one hand and also
cut food on their buffet plate. Fish is great but
not if you have to pick out the bones, and barbecue ribs
belong only at picnics. |
Make enough food
so that guests can have second and even third helpings |
My Italian mother-in-law
taught me this rule. Always make more food than
guests can eat. This is a true sign of hospitality. |
Entertainment/Activities
Every party needs a focus. The entertainment or party
activity creates this focus and gives the party momentum. It
doesn’t have to be something elaborate or expensive. Think
of the entertainment or activity as the party centerpiece. This
should be when the party peaks; the point to which party energy
builds and then unwinds. Let’s look at some
typical parties paired with an entertainment or activity.
| Type of
Party |
Entertainment/Activity |
Birthday Party |
Cake and Gifts |
New Years |
Champagne Toast at Midnight |
Engagement
Party |
Wedding Announcement and
Toast to the Engaged Couple |
Dinner Party |
Dinner and Toast to Guests
by the Hosts |
Cocktail Party |
Heavy Appetizers, Finger
Desserts and Toast to Guests by the Hosts |
Staging and Flow
Think of a party as having several acts, just like a play. Staging
and flow answer where and when each act will take place. This
is especially important to map out in the smaller home where
space is limited. Most parties can be divided into five
acts and fit nicely into a simple plan for staging and flow. Just
remember to keep the party moving. A slow party is a boring party.
| What Is
Happening At The Party |
Staging
and Flow –
Where and When |
Guests arrive,
introductions are made |
8:00 pm – Greet guests
at the door and show them into the living room. Introduce
them to at least one other guest and bring up a topic
of mutual interest. |
General conversation,
drinks and light food served |
8:00 – 9:00 – Serve
drinks and light food in the living room. Continue
introducing guests and sparking conversation. |
Main courses
served, entertainment or party activity takes place |
9:00 – 10:30 pm – Main
course served in dining room. Toasts by hosts
and guests overlap with the main course |
Dessert and
after dinner drinks served |
10:30 – 11:30 pm – Dessert
and after dinner drinks served in living room. Conversation
continues. |
Conversation
winds down, guests leave |
11:30 – 12:00 am – Small
conversational groups in living room. Guests
begin leaving. |
|
